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What’s a (expletive deleted) nipple?

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I'm in jail because of something called a (expletive deleted) nipple. ????

Okay, my Pop is really hard to figure out.  We were wrastlin on the floor and having a grand old time until Pop yells his bloody head off.

Mom:   “What the !#@&# did she do?”
Pop:  “She bit me.”
Mom:  “Where?”
Pop:  “It doesn’t matter, she’s gotta stop that biting.”
Mom:  “Okay, but where did she bite you?”
Pop:  “Right on the (expletive deleted) nipple.”
Mom runs to the bedroom and buries her head in a pillow.
Pop goes in to the bathroom.  Then comes out.
Mom comes back into the living room and says let me see and grabs Pop’s shirt and yanks it up over his head, but he really doesn’t want her to…he’s kinda crabby.  Then Mom laughs and says, “We could hurry on down to the tattoo shop and get you a ring for it.  ????????
So, really, WTH is a nipple?  And what is a (expletive deleted) nipple?  Some sort of super nipple?

All I know is whatever it is, I shouldn’t go there…

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14 Responses to “What’s a (expletive deleted) nipple?”

  1.    credocanis Says:

    There are just some things a little dog doesn’t need to know. You’re right, don’t go there!!

    I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for this one!! I think I would have been right there with your Mom, laughing out loud.

    You have to stop that biting!! But today it was worth it.

    Lincoln’s Mom

  2.    kenmoresmom Says:

    oooohhhh, not good….but funny!
    mandy & Kenmore

  3.    Carmen (Catie's Mom) Says:

    Oooohhhh is right! That made me cringe – owie! 🙂

  4.    Laurie Young Says:

    Silly girl, Just tell Pops that it could have been a lot worse.

  5.    etgayle Says:

    yikes, that will definitely get you put in jail…oh, and don’t go after the ‘naughty bits’ that hang lower either….really, they don’t like that at all…stick with kisses and stop the bites and you’ll be OK….


  6.    fortisdad Says:

    Sorry Pops, but that is hilarious! I’m just glad it wasn’t Fortis doing the biting. He usually goes south when playing……OUCH! That Monkeyface Mattie has definitely crossed over to the dark side. 🙂

    I was in a deep sleep one night when a scorpion stung me right on my (expletive deleted) nipple!!!

    Thanks for the laugh,


  7.    monkeybutt Says:

    Oh Mattie!

    I’ll save you! I’ll save you! (just don’t bite me!)

    Don’t worry Mattie Monkeyface, I spent a lot of time in doggie jail! Not because I was a biter but because I was a bugger. I still don’t get why no one wants to play frisbee in the house at 9pm!


  8.    monkeybutt Says:

    Ooops that’s MONKE”Y”butt

  9.    admin Says:

    Where is the AMBF!? We believe Maddie’s recalcitrant attack was in protest of pop’s new hat and demand an ivestigation! 🙂

  10.    anyemery Says:

    Hey, Mattie! Zuzu here – mom still won’t let me have my own identity here in tripawds land. Hrmph! But I wanted to let you know my dad doesn’t like it when I bite either, although I do aim a little lower. He jumps whenever I do that! And I get solitary confinement sometimes, too. As a matter of fact, I’m writing this from my cell – mom wasn’t happy with me tonight for peeing all over the floor just after I’d been outside. There’s so much to do outside – like eating poopcicles – that I usually forget to do my business until I’m back inside. What’s the big deal about that?
    Zuzu Monkeypoo

  11.    coopsdad Says:

    Hey Mattie! you still in jail?? Its lonely out here on the OUTSIDE –
    Sooper Cooper

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